Self-Negativity Is Inherited

…Every family has a certain sensibility around what is “normal and good” and what is not. When a child strays outside this zone, the parents will guide her back, which is fine—but then there is a vast diversity of methods and values around how to get this done.

How does a family get its kids back into the desired zone? Does it use patient explanations? Does it allow for questioning and discussion? Does it use sarcasm and ridicule? Does it use physical violence? Does it use shame?

Every family will have a “normal operating mode” of how it teaches values and enforces behavior. And if the operating mode of a family makes heavy use of unquestionable, unexplained rules, shame, sarcasm and even violence, then there will be a powerful seeding of a self-negative inner voice as a result.

This self-negative inner voice will then be active in the mind, long after the child has grown up — and even after her parents have passed on. The self-negative voice lives on in the mind until the person is able to pin it down, and self-heal it….

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