Unmasking masculinity 

Helping boys become connected men 

Ryan McKelley 

TEDxUWLaCrosse

Unmasking 

 

In this interesting TED talk the speaker Ryan McKelley talks about unmasking masculinity. He thinks we socialise boys away from attachment and this social isolation is one of the primary risk factor in the cardio-vascular disease.

Men are taught to be less emotional than women. ‘Boys don’t cry.’

 

Men are allowed to express only 3 emotions

          1.   Anger

          2.   Contempt

          3.   Pride

Women are allowed a plethora of emotions:

                   ·       Joy

                   ·       Compassion

                   ·       Sympathy

                   ·       Empathy

                   ·       Fear and many others

Male emotional funnel system to deal with emotions 

Seeking help not considered okay for men 

Those who expressed negative emotions automatically repress positive emotions too. Men cannot feel compassion, sympathy or empathy.

Emotional control may be necessary or beneficial in certain situations but it should not become a default mode.

Common human emotions should not be divided gender-wise. Both boys and girls should be allowed to express the full spectrum of emotions at appropriate situations.

It does not need courage to hide behind a mask. What needs courage is to open up, to show your vulnerable side.

Try to remove the mask at least in a small way. Gradually you will find courage to go all the way.. This will help in making a deeper connection with others.