How to Spot a Con-Artist and How to Avoid Becoming Their Victim

How to Spot a Con-Artist and How to Avoid Becoming Their Victim

Steven Burns

Solutions in Mind

Insightful Article

I’ve been fascinated by con-artists for quite some time.

In my business life, I would say I’ve worked closely with two individuals who I would regard as con-artists. 

One who has reached near mastery in the craft and another who has serious potential.

For me, being involved in a business relationship with them was deeply troubling while at the same time equally fascinating. 

Call me weird but there’s something morbidly interesting about someone who is clearly pathological but doesn’t seem to care, or in fact even notice.

Someone who is so comfortable with dishonesty, cunning and deception that you start to ask yourself if you are the one who is abnormal.

I also found it interesting that it took me such a long time to realise that they were con-artists; I wanted to believe in their inherent goodness and, perversely, this ended up working against me. 

And I wasn’t the only one. 

The individuals in question have successfully pulled the wool over thousands of people’s eyes, and still continue to do so. 

People want to believe in the potential of human kindness and honesty and, while this is undoubtedly a valuable trait, it can sometimes be their downfall.

In her excellent book, The Confidence Game, Anna Konnikova, actually goes as far as to say that intelligent, honest, well-meaning individuals are exactly the type of people who do fall for a con. 

They are the most susceptible to it because their mind struggles, and sometimes blatantly refuses, to accept that someone could be as cunningly deceptive as a con-artist can be.

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Confidence - what it really is and how to build it

Steven Burns

Inspirational Article

 

 

Confidence

It’s the quality that most people want at some stage of their life: the magical elixir, or cure-all, that we think can rid us of all our angsts, worries and problems.

If we were to just be fully confident in ourselves then we could move mountains; we could overcome the challenges we face and achieve our dreams, desires and goals.

Interestingly confidence tends to be a bit of an oxymoron.

When we have confidence we don’t care about it – it becomes a non-issue.

But when we lack it, it suddenly becomes one of the most important yet illusive qualities associated with successful living.

But what actually is confidence?

Is it a feeling, a skill, a mind-set?

And is it something that is innate, or can we deliberately build it?

Well, it’s a large subject but the short answer is that it can be all of the above.

Confidence is Multi-layered

People tend to think of confidence as a simple, singular entity — something that we either have or don’t have.

When you dig a bit deeper though, you find that there’s a lot more to it than that.

Confidence is not just one thing, it’s many. It has multiple layers to it that can be applicable in some situations and not in others.

Confidence is a feeling, but it can also be linked to a skill. And it can exit as a belief: an inner mind-set that sits in the background of our experience.

Confidence is something we can have naturally and it’s also something we can cultivate, shape and build.

I know this sounds like a contradiction but I don’t think it is.

Confidence has many different elements to it so it can present itself in various different forms.

So let’s take a look at some of these forms, these elements, and explore how we can increase each one to cultivate a rich and multi-layered inner sense of confidence.

Layer 1: Confidence as a feeling

Layer 2: Confidence as a result of Skill

Layer 3: Confidence as a Belief

 

 

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Seven Tips for Becoming & Feeling Successful

Seven Tips for Becoming & Feeling Successful

Steven Burns

Inspiring Article

Success

It might be incorrect to assume that everyone wants it, but it is a common gauge that we use grade how well we’re doing at the game of life.

From a young age our progress is measured by parents and teachers; we are given praise, feedback and guidance on how to improve.

As adults we are assessed, monitored, interviewed and appraised.

We go to training courses, read books – hopefully – and work at improving our skill sets, experience and knowledge.

And all, in order to do what?

What’s the point?

Well, one of the main reasons is so we can become more successful in whatever we have chosen to do.

Success is often the barometer we use to gauge how we are progressing: the score that we give ourselves when we assess our performance in relation to our goals.

And it can be wildely different from person to person.

For some, “success” is just enjoying their day-to-day lives, whereas others only think they are successful if they manage to create a multi-million pound business and significantly change the world.

There can also be a difference between “being” successful and “feeling” successful.

Some people are clearly successful in the eyes of others but don’t “feel” particularly successful on the inside; they are driven by an empty feeling that they haven’t accomplished much and should be doing more.

So what’s the secret to becoming – and feeling – successful?

Surely it’s easy, especially in the year 2019 where we have access to a rich array of choice, information and opportunity.

Well, the truth is, it’s not always easy, and there is no single “secret”.

But there are some tips and ideas that can make a big difference.

Here are 7 tips that can help you become, and feel, more successful

Tip 1: Be value driven

Tip 2: Realise that Success is Subjective

Tip 3: Success is a journey, a milestone, and a destination

Tip 4: Regulate social media use

Tip 5: Organise your time obsessively

Tip 6: Don’t forget to think long term

Tip 7: Do more with less

 

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