10% Happier - Book Summary & Review

10% Happier

Dan Harris

Winner of the 2014 Living Now Book Award for Inspirational Memoir.

In this book, the author Dan Harris explains how we can manage your emotions through meditation. Recent scientific studies have also shown that mindfulness and meditation can have profound effects on our well-being and productivity.

Notable Ideas of the Book

Learn to manage your ego and in turn, better manage your life. We often become overwhelmed by our emotions and end up making terrible decision which we regret later

In the book you’ll also discover:

·       Why being selfish isn’t such a bad thing;

·       Why you sometimes find yourself gazing into the fridge without being hungry; and

·       How meditation might save you from suffering a heart attack.

The ego is your inner narrator, or your sense of “I.” It’s the voice that tells you what to do. “Ego” is a common word. We often blame personal shortcomings on the ego. We often think of ego as the source of pride, conceit and self-love. Ego is the source of behavior that is self-serving or unconcerned with others. To Freud, the ego represents a psychological mechanism that mediates between our morality and our base desires.

But a better way to think of your ego and one that offers the most insight is as the voice in your head. Our ego comments on our actions and behaviour from the moment we wake up   till we fall asleep, telling us what to do and what not to do. It is a voice that manifests through our thoughts.

The ego is never satisfied. The ego will always want more than it already has. The ego always wants more and more. The ego is obsessed with the past and the future, and it neglects the present, thus keeping us from fully living in the moment.

Our ego constantly gauges our worth against the appearance, wealth and social status of others, but will always find us less than what the other person is.  It always spurs us to strive to become that “better” person.

But after achieving what your ego wants, will you be happy? No. The ego is never happy. We need to practice mindfulness and compassion toward others to control your ego.

When we practice meditation, we learn a valuable skill called mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to respond and not react – to our surroundings as well as our impulses. Meditation increases our mindfulness by training us to immerse ourselves fully in the present moment, and not to be overwhelmed with the life’s stress.

Mindfulness also changes our biology. Mindfulness training shrinks the regions in the brain associated with stress and improves the areas associated with self-awareness. It also makes us compassionate.

Showing compassion toward yourself improves your decision making by allowing you to forgive yourself for mistakes and accept your flaws. Likewise, being compassionate toward others helps you to become a more fulfilled person. 

You don’t need to lose your edge or become a pushover when you tame your ego. Some people don’t like the Buddhist concept of “letting go,” as they see it as going soft or becoming ineffective. Controlling our ego does not mean overlooking our own needs and becoming a pushover.

According to Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn, practicing mindfulness actually makes one more creative and more productive, as it clears the mind of useless assumptions and routines, and makes space for new ideas and thoughts.

One important discovery that the author made was that high levels of stress or the need for competition weren’t necessary to fuel his drive. On the contrary: he found that it was more satisfying to control these urges than to indulge in them.

 What is meditation exactly? In essence, when we meditate, we sit comfortably and focus on our own breath. Meditation is rather easy to do and anyone can do it. Why should we bother with it?

For starters, meditation increases mindfulness by teaching us to view the contents of our mind with non-judgmental point of view. According to Buddhist teachings, we have three habitual responses to everything we experience:

• We want it.

• We reject it.

• We zone out.

Mindfulness gives us a fourth option: we observe without judgment.

Meditation does a body good, helping curb the effects of stress and even disease.

Humans have the “fight or flight” instinct, which is triggered in times of danger. Constant stimulation of this instinct keeps us in a state of overload, which causes levels of toxic stress chemicals in our body to increase.
However, meditation can actually reverse the effects of these stress chemicals, by lowering blood pressure and thus reducing the risk of heart disease.

Research suggests that the mindfulness can spill into everyday life, leading to an increase in patience, empathy and compassion. We start not to react, but to respond with sober calmness.

Other studies have shown even more obvious health benefits. Meditation helps to battle major depression, drug addiction, binge eating and smoking.

Finally, meditation allows us to model the perceiving and experiencing tool of our body: our brain. Studies have shown that training our brain through meditation improves our resilience, impulse control and overall level of well-being.

Accept your negative emotions, then separate yourself from them through non-identification.
Meditation is not a cure-all. It cannot rid your mind of negative thoughts altogether. 

To do this, psychotherapist and Buddhist teacher Tara Brach suggests that you simply acknowledge your negative feelings – that is, admit that you’re experiencing them, rather than deny them.

The Buddhists teach that we should “let go,” but what they really mean, is “let it be.” Instead of denying negative feelings, just let them be. Another Buddhist saying is that “the only way out is through.”

According to Brach’s teachings, there are four stages to accepting these feelings. First, we must recognize the emotion, allow it to exist, investigate its effects and finally separate ourselves from it through the practice of non-identification.

The key message in this book:

In modern times there us a constant state of stress and panic in our lives. This has major consequences on our mental and physical health. Through the practice of meditation we can remove this stress. It will lead to a more compassionate, fulfilling and productive lifestyle.

Actionable advice:

Increase your compassion through ‘Metta Meditation’.

Picture yourself clearly in your mind and repeat the following phrases: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you live with ease. Then repeat the same sentences or mantra, this time imagining a benefactor, a dear friend, a neutral person, a person with whom you have difficulties and finally, all living beings.

Ruchika Verma

You can purchase this book from Amazon