Who is
responsible for what is happening to your life? The answer to this question
depends upon what is happening in our life. If it is positive and pleasant we
are quick to take credit or responsibility. Of course it is our talent,
capability, and hard work which have led to the success. If something negative
or unpleasant is happening we generally blame someone or something outside of
us as the cause of our misery. We generally blame bad luck or fate, non-cooperation
or interference of others. It is some persons or circumstances that are
responsible for the failures not us.
When we
blame others and shirk away from owning responsibility we are losing power to
control and shape our life. We are admitting that we have no control over our
life circumstances. This victim mentality drains away our energy. We become
progressively weaker. We find it difficult to manage even simple tasks of day
to day life.
When we
start accepting responsibility we start empowering ourselves. Accepting
responsibility for our lives means we can control our life. Therefore we can
improve it. We stop wasting time and energy blaming others. We become more
creative looking for various ways to deal with the complexities of life. We
learn from our failures, our mistakes and move on. We don't remain tethered to
the past and are thus free to create a better future.
Accepting
responsibility is not the same as feeling guilty. Guilt originates from
judgment based on the values or morality either created by us or imposed by the
society. It creates some kind of punishment consciously or unconsciously. The
problem with guilt is although it punishes us for our actions it doesn't help
us in any way in self-improvement.
Accepting
responsibility on the other hand focuses on understanding the issues. If a life
situation turns out negative and the person accepts his responsibility he will
learn the lessons and move on. There is no question of imposing any kind of
punishment on himself consciously or unconsciously. If there are consequences
in the form of Karmic debt he will bear it cheerfully but he will not elongate it
or aggravate it by continuous self criticism. In fact Karmic consequences will
be shorter in duration and less intense as the purpose of it is to teach and
not to punish or retribution. The consequences become longer and intense when
we fail to learn and repeat the mistakes again and again.
When we
accept the responsibility for ourselves we acknowledge the fact that others are
responsible for their life too. We stop blaming ourselves when others fail.
When someone close to us whether a friend, family member or colleague is going
through a rough phase of life we may extend all kinds of support, care and
compassion. But we refuse to accept responsibility for their action. So we
don't unnecessarily feel guilty about what is happening in other people's lives.
In this way we refrain from creating co-dependent relationships.
If you
wish to bring about a positive change in your life, if you wish to fulfil your
dreams, if you want your life to be amazing start with accepting
responsibility. Acknowledge the fact that whatever is happening in your
positive and negative is because of your thoughts, your actions, your habits
and your character. When you understand yourself better you can bring about the
required changes in your personality. Your life starts improving when you start
weeding out the negative thought structures implanted in your mind whether at
conscious, subconscious or unconscious level. Then you start creating a better
identity which is far more positive and dynamic. Taking responsibility is the
first significant step in living a truly amazing life.
Dhriti Shandilya
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