Positivity
Barbara L. Fredrickson
One of the leading members of the positive
psychology movement draws on cutting-edge research and lab-tested tools to
explain: • Why positivity is more important than happiness • How it relieves
depression, broadens minds, and builds lives • How to tap into your own sources
of positivity With Positivity, you’ll learn to see new possibilities, bounce
back from setbacks, connect with others, and become the best version of
yourself.
Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D., is Kenan Distinguished Professor of
Psychology and principal investigator of the Positive Emotion and
Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
She is a leading scholar within social psychology, affective science, and
positive psychology.
"Written by one of the most influential
contributors to this new perspective in science, Positivity provides a
wonderful synthesis of what positive psychology has accomplished in the first
decade of its existence. It is full of deep insights about human behavior as
well as useful suggestions for how to apply them in everyday life."
—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,
Ph.D., author of Flow
"Positivity is literally the feel-good book of the year, providing a scientifically sound prescription for joy, health, and creativity. Read one to two chapters daily as needed or until grumpiness subsides."
—Daniel Gilbert, professor of
psychology, Harvard University, and author of Stumbling
on Happiness
Everyone knows good
feelings have a positive impact: they give us energy to get more done, and our
positive energy makes others like us better. But surprisingly, up until
recently, researchers mainly focused on our negative feelings, such as fear or
anger. This is because negative feelings can seem to have a more serious
impact, for example, leading to depression or despair.
And we’re usually more aware of negative feelings, while positive ones are a more subtle experience. But why are negative feelings so much “louder”? Because they have been crucial to our survival in our evolutionary past: our ancestors intensely experienced negative feelings like fear when they focused on a given threat, like a predator or enemy, so they could concentrate all their energies on fleeing or fighting. The study of these negative emotions has allowed psychiatrists to ease many mental disorders.
Only recently have
researchers wondered what impact a focus on positive emotions and a general
positive attitude toward life might have. And they realize positive emotions
have a great effect on our day-to-day existence.
In large doses, positive feelings such as love, joy, gratefulness, hope or pride can change our whole lives. And while they often pass unnoticed, these “silent stars” make us more resilient and help guide us through many tough times.
Furthermore, positive psychologists have shown that if you manage to increase the amount of positive emotions you experience, you’ll reap many benefits.
You’ll be more successful in your career, enjoy more stable and fulfilling relationships, and live a generally happier, less stressful life! A positive general attitude toward life is the key to happiness.
Those who are lucky enough to experience mainly positive emotions have a generally positive attitude toward life, which makes them resilient and successful.
Their optimism makes them resilient against mental problems like depression or over-worrying, and because they always see the good in every situation, they can navigate through even the hardest times without much trouble. This optimism also seems to help them have healthier relationships, as well as more successful social and professional lives.
The positive people look at the world in a more open way, and see opportunities and solutions where others only see problems. Even when things seem bad, they search for the best way out. If you manage to experience more positive than negative emotions, you will naturally end up with a positive attitude toward life.
In the long run, positive emotions like joy can even
change our personality, open up our character and make us more tolerant of
others. When people experience positive emotions, they focus on what they have
in common with others. This feeling of togetherness leads to happier
relationships, and makes us more tolerant toward strangers. Positivity also
opens up our perception in general.
The ideal mix of
emotions for a fulfilled life? Three positive emotions for every negative one.
As we’ve seen, due to their importance in our evolutionary past, negative emotions are stronger in their amplitude than positive ones. One moment of anger or sadness drags us down further than one of joy or pride lifts us up. This leads to an imbalance in our emotion ratio: we tend to experience more negative emotions than positive ones.
And to gain a general positive attitude toward life, you need the right ratio between positive and negative emotions.
If the ratio of good to bad feelings is too low – for example, just one good feeling for every bad one – we end up in a downward spiral, and every day we feel a bit worse, a bit unhappier.
The only way out of this is to increase your positivity ratio, or the number of positive emotions you feel for every bad one.
Reaching the positivity ratio is, for most of us, an
attainable goal. One fundamental technique for cultivating your positive
emotions is to develop new habits that make you feel good, be it calling up
your best friend, going for a long walk or treating yourself to your favorite
food. Or you could write a letter of gratitude to someone, or regularly remind
yourself of your greatest accomplishment.
By learning how to reliably trigger positive emotions in these ways, you’ll increase your resilience, a.k.a. your ability to deal with adversities. When you face obstacles with optimism it drastically increases your happiness overall.
Positivity does not mean completely getting rid of negative emotions. Why not? Because feelings like fear or anger are useful in certain situations – for example, when facing a dangerous animal, or being betrayed by a close friend. The goal instead is to overshadow them with a surplus of positive emotions.
One of the most tried-and-tested techniques is the Gratitude Diary. Gratitude is a powerful positive emotion; if experienced frequently, even small doses of it lead to a continuous improvement in your general attitude towards life. The role of the diary is to find out which situations repeatedly make you grateful, so you can trigger more gratitude by recreating those situations more often. For example, if talking to your parents about your childhood gives you a feeling of gratitude, you can easily retrigger the same experience by calling them up.
Mindfulness lets you
consciously change your everyday feelings. Mindfulness means consciously
perceiving and enjoying every moment of your life by wilfully focusing on the
positive aspects of everything you experience.
For instance, on your way to work, you can let your mind wander to your troubles, or you can focus on and savor the singing birds, the spring flowers or the children playing in the park. Or during a meal that you would usually mindlessly gulp down, you could focus on its many different tastes and textures.
For instance, on your way to work, you can let your mind wander to your troubles, or you can focus on and savor the singing birds, the spring flowers or the children playing in the park. Or during a meal that you would usually mindlessly gulp down, you could focus on its many different tastes and textures.
Being mindful doesn’t apply only to positive emotions. It
also means being aware of all the negative feelings you experience, so you can
rationally examine and question them. For example, say you’ve just missed the
bus. Being mindful of your negative feelings can help you ask yourself: is it
necessary to become so angry at myself, just because I’ve missed the bus? These reality checks help dissipate most negative emotions, especially our exaggerated
reactions to unimportant things.
Say a negative experience just won’t let you be, like some harsh words from a boss. Don’t keep thinking it over – instead, spend the time redirecting your attention into something useful, like reading through your unanswered emails.
Meditation is a
tried-and-tested method to increase positivity and mindfulness. Meditation is
an ancient Buddhist practice, which aims to improve the spirit and the soul by
practicing concentration on the present moment. Its goal is to increase
mindfulness, which – as we’ve learned – is one important step toward a positive
attitude to life. By forcing you to focus on the present, meditation helps you
slow down, live in the now and become more aware of the positive moments in
life. This heightened awareness is one proven way to reach your 3:1 positivity
ratio.
Meditation reduces pain, stress and anxiety. And contrary
to popular belief, meditation is not just a placebo: its effects can be seen in
physical changes in the brain. Meditation reduces activity in the brain regions
that involve negative emotions, and increases activity in the parts of the
brain’s left hemisphere involved in positive emotions.
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